- My bladder: Hey Brain, hate to wake you up after just 3 hours of sleep, but go pee. We can go back to sleep immediately.
- My brain: Oh, we're up? Here's a list of crippling fears and doubts and a song you can't get out of your head so you can't go back to sleep because I hate you.
fuck-customersAnonymous asked:
C: Why are the potatoes yellow?
Me: Because we're out of regular potatoes and only had gold potatoes on hand, so we're using those
C: I ain't eating that
Me internally: Ok, not my problem, go fuck yourself
